Unreasonable

Standing (yes, standing!) in front of a mirror in my hotel room in Kiyv, Ukraine, I was closely examining what I was seeing. Shirtless, I could see all the new muscle, the scars, the little bump of the port - right next to the scar of the very first one from some 23 years ago - and I had to smile. I was, for the first time in almost a decade, satisfied with what I saw. My body has always been my biggest enemy, ever since birth.

Of course at this point I realized that my big check up is in ten days. It is the 18-month-post-transplant thing that got delayed about two months because of... because of patient administration. It's not a fun appointment.  Lab results, more labs, CT, whatever. All day deal. CT early in the morning, oncologist appointment only at like 6 p.m.!

While I have no reason to, I am nervous and a bit scared. I have been well since the transplant. I have been getting stronger and healthier as my immune system is rebuilding itself, but still, there is fear. It's unreasonable, and I'm aware of that, I still can't get rid of it.

Now off to Odessa, to deliver some goods to the Tikva Chirldren's Homes and the schools that were collected at home. I do hope I will get to visit the orphanage or the schools, but we shall see how everything works out.