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1 week home

So we have all been home as a family for a week. It has been such an interesting week. 

Do you remember how Ezra has trouble sleeping while we were in the States? Well, luckily, that has resolved itself and Ezra is now sleeping well at night. He started to nap in the afternoons with Shiri a few days ago. He seems a lot more regulated. He is still not really speaking, we can distinguish about 4 words (3 in Armenian, one in English) at this point. On Thursday was his appointment with the cardiologist, eye surgeon and developmental pediatrician. We got the eye surgery scheduled, (September 6), a follow up cardiology appointment in October after he turns 2, and a possible heart surgery in about 8 months time. That will be scheduled later.

The developmental ped ordered genetics to see why some of the delays Ezra has. In his paperwork from Armenia it says that he is generally delayed due to prenatal alcohol exposure, but then his twin sister is not only not delayed, but is advanced in some areas. Ezra also lacks all the facial markers (which I know is not a decisive factor), and there is no known history of maternal alcohol consumption. The developmental pediatrician thinks that it is not FASD (though it could be), but it is more connected to the heart and kidney issues Ezra has been having since birth. We are not 100% sure at this point.

Shiri is yapping away in English a lot. Noa still speaks to them in Armenian (and so does Kevin quite often), but now she is speaking her English words to the boys and me. She loves our dog and the goldfish. Unfortunately, she loves to feed the goldfish as well, which resulted in a sudden decline in the goldfish population. Luckily she cannot reach the big fishtank. She is loving the Red Sea and that she got to see dolphins yesterday!

Noa... Sweet Noa is fitting right in with the boys. Like 5 peas in a pod. She is into all mischief with them. She is actually picking up some Hungarian from them. Crazy, I know. She is also teaching them Armenian words, so now they speak an Armenian dialect of Hunglish between each other. Funny, because this way we absolutely have no idea what they are up to. I am thinking about producing a paper on their makeshift language, so maybe I can use it for a home assignment or something.

The boys are happy to be back to Israel - even P! He had a lovely time in Hungary, and he had a lovely time in Ireland, and he is having a lovely time back home now. He is loving visiting great-grandma in Eilat. Actually, he loves the fact that as he has been here once before, he is showing Noa around the place. All too cute. :)

Day 2 at home

Sorry about the very interrupted post last night - I was literally dozing off at the keyboard! Having toddlers again has taken up all my energy. And just to think that Kevin is starting back at work on Sunday makes me feel exhausted. Especially since being in home office means that I still get to work. Luckily Janice is off work this week, so the she will be around to help, and then Kevin's schedule is empty for Thursday, so Thursday morning we are heading down to Eilat and won't be back in town till Monday mid day. Kevin's coworkers have been wonderful in supporting his extended leave and now that he is back we found out that they haven't taken adventage of his absence in signing up for the Thursdays to be off work, plus with the intern who substituted for Kevin he has every other Sunday off for a long time. (Kevin didn't use any paid vacation for the adoption trip, so he still has like 9 days left.) This will work out just great as Thursday and Monday are my client days, so child care will be covered. 

Last night we had a lovely time at home. We did out usual Friday thing, which included a dinner outside. As i mentioned before, usually we are joined by the neighbors for this, and it being Ramadan, it was an especially joyous Friday dinner. All the kids had fun, and they ate and ate and played till they dropped. :)

Noa loves her room! She already rearranged all the toys and books, which leads us to a funny situation. It's the bedtime story reading issue. Since Noa already knows how to read Armenian, Kevin purchased quite a few age apropriate books for Noa and the twins as well. Noa often asks  Kevin to read her a bedtime story, and brings out one of the Armenian books. The problem is that while Kevin speaks some Armenian, he does not read it. Noa cannot figure out how her dad can't read it if he can speak it. So now she is teaching Kevin to read the language. I think she is doing a pretty good job. To the left is the cover of her currently favorite book. I have the same book in Russian, too, for my cousin's kids. And a copy for my brother Sergei. 

Home at last

Yesterday was the day when our life as a family of ten (7 kids, 3 parents) earnestly began. All ten of us met in London, where we spent a good two and a half hours waiting for the connecting flight by watching the kids get acquainted. I have to admit that Ezra and Shiri weren't all that fascinated with having all these new brothers, but  oh boy, has Noa gotten the boys all wrapped around  her finger?! Craig even walked with her to the Body Shop (or equivalently good smelling shop) and even bought her some lip balm!

We were greeted in TA by my parents, my brother Chalin and my cousin Arik with their kids. It was a lovely homecoming.

So much more to write about, but I so absolutely lack the energy.

Papers! And Paper Dreams (nostalgia rocks my socks or: going off in tangents)

All the paperwork we needed to do in California is now DONE! Wonderful people went the extra mile to make sure that we don't get stranded here indefinitely. With all that done, we are heading out to New Jersey early Wednesday. Thursday we are attending Auntie Jordan's wedding (she is Janice's sister), and I'm super excited about the music of the event. It will be someone whose voice I adore, who will be singing for the party! Yay!

The boys are back to Budapest after camp. They had a great time, but they are now ready to be home. I'll pick them up on Monday, when we fly over to Ireland, and then we meet Kevin and the other three kids in London on next Thursday... and then we will be home with about two weeks left of our summer to enjoy together and start being a family of 10. As nice as the house here is, it's not home, and it's not where we will really start our family life. The boys are really excited about meeting their new siblings, and Noa can't wait to meet her brothers in 3D for the first time! They love talking on Skype! I have no clue how they understand each other, but they do!

I just bought two books I loved reading to the older twins and Craig but are kinda worn. One is Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince", a sad but absolutely lovely story, beautifully written. The other one is Max Lucado's "Just the Way You Are".  I am particularly fond of Oscar Wilde - my only non-musical acting credit was in a community production of "The Importance of Being Earnest" as Jack Worthing. Now that was fun. 

I also had a chance to sing two great roles in high school. One was in Jesus Christ Superstar and my only regret is that I never had the right voice for Judas, which happens to be a great role. I think the role I got to sing was a lot les sinteresting, especially when you are 17 and trying to find out what motivates people.

The other one was in a local stake production of Saturday's Warrior. I got to play two different roles in that, and I still have the sheet music somewhere. This one song embedded below was one that I sang during the first year (I played Tod that year)  and really, I love this song still.I love the part when it lists the things Tod wants to be ("...who's tall and straigh/best of all he's free..."). I love it, because... because I came to the point in my life when I'm not only tall, but best of all, I'm free.

Sundays

Sundays are hard. Sundays are when I practically don't get more than 3 hours of sleep at night.Even if I go to bed early - which is not very likely with the Shabbat and all, I have to be up sometime between midnight and 3 a.m. for the weekly kick off meeting Sunday mornings. I can do  most of my work at times that happen to be during the day in California, but the kick off meeting is always Sunday morning... Israel time. 

So Sundays... it's Kevin, who has the kids full time. On Sunday it's him, who goes with them to Starbucks, it's him, who takes them to the park, while I try to work and stay awake. So he took them to the park, and then they'll drive around a bit to get In-n-Out burgers and milkshakes for dinner!

Updates in Cali

First, before I forget. I was asked to guest blog by the Two Help Desk Agents. I wrote my first post, and it will be online sometime this week. 

Second: We did Disney. It went really well, the kids didn't get much overwhelmed and Noa just loved it! Thanks to Brother Miller for the tickets!

Third: Yesterday was the Pioneer Day activity at one of the local LDS wards. We went to that with the kids and they had a lot of fun. Especially Noa, of course. She loved her pioneer dress (many thanks go out to Kevin's mom for making it for her!) and enjoyed riding in a covered wagon. She also liked the movie Legacy. She thinks Eliza is the prettiest thing ever. Hard to believe Kathleen Beller was already 34 years old when she played Eliza! Kevin, who is rewatching classic Dr Who episodes immediatelly told me why David Walker always looked familar: Marcus Gilbert was in a 4-episode arch back in 1989... Yeah. 

Fourth: We have 80% of the paperwork done. :) Seems like I am going to leave a little earlier, right after the NJ wedding, to get the boys, and we'll be home 2 days before Kevin and the other kids. While they might be able to leave a bit earlier, it would cost way too much, and then there are all those people in DC who can't wait to meet the kids!

In the US it's Adoption Awareness Month.

But is it really Adoption awareness or a very one-sided celebration?

Please read a birth mother's thoughts on this.

Miracles do happen

Some 5 and a half years ago (K says it was 6 years ago) the house we lived in at that point was broken into. There was a lot of damage as well as a lot of things stolen--including a car with less than 1000 km in it. Unfortunately for us the perpetrator was identified. Unfortunate it was, because a court case was brought against him and the insurance company doesn't pay till the court case is closed. I won't go into details why this has dagged on for 6 years, but by now we gave up all hope that the court case will be brought to a close within this millenium--and with the new one just having started, that was pretty pessimistic!

Yesterday we got a note that on Friday the court case was closed. That means within a year we are looking at receiving the equivalent of about USD 27,000. That is a lot of money. But do you know what that money can do? Finance an adoption. That is what it can do. Either that, or buy a new car. We don't need a new car.

I really mean when I say I want a dozen kids!

Last Shabbat on the way home from shul Kevin and I were talking about the future. Like, as what to do in 8 or ten years. This is something new for us: we have always taken it one day at a time, and the longest we planned ahead was 9 months, due to the uncertainty that my health issues carried with them. We knew we wanted at least one more child. Hopefully a girl this time after our three boys. We knew that J (the mother of my twin sons and loving mom by choice to K's son) wanted at least one more child, hopefully a girl this time after the twins (and C, of course).

For the last couple of days I have been saying aloud that I want several more kids. This has been something I always wanted, but not till I was older and wiser. And for now I have 3 boys to raise, possibly rabbinical school to get through (or whatever I end up doing with the inspiration, I just know what I feel like I should do, even if I don't get a paper, maybe just buy a coffeeshop?), a website to help with the "kick off", major surgery and rehab afterwords... and a lot of money needs to be saved.

I never thought that K shared this desire to expand our family through adoption. We are both adoptees, two Jewish kids raised by Christian (Catholic/LDS) family members, and neither of us had a very good experience with our own adoptions. That's why I was surprised when he said, "we need to this." We need to do this, but not now, not yet. However, this is the time to start to prepare for the adoptions of the future: prepare ourselves, our kids, our homes and last but not least, our finances.

So the plan was we were going to start the adoption process in about 6-8 years. In 8 years K will be 42 and I'll be 35, our eldest will be 18 and the twins 14. And maybe same sex couples will have an easier time to adopt in the countries of our first choice.

Since then, during one short week, we realised that we have options that would make our dreams work concurrently. So while we are not about to start adopting right away--we do need to save money first!--we can have a full house sooner rather than later. So watch out, world, soon there will be a dozen little Cohens running around!

Guardian of Israel in action

This version of Shomer Yisrael performed by the very talented Aharon Razel has followed me around since I first heard it in the summer of 2005, while the protests and the fight for Gush Katif was going on during, what my then circle of Jewish friends called Israel's Orange Days.

This song was playing while I watched the news reports of the evacuation of Gush Katif residents, knowing that my brothers and sisters are on both sides: some IDF soldiers that are enforcing the evacuation, some Gush Katif settlers being evacuated. A summer later this song was playing as I watched the first news report of the Second Lebanon War, just an hour after receiving a text from my kid brother that he is not coming home for the weekend.

I was listening to this song when my dad messaged me a few days ago about my four foster siblings. Vitalik, Alla, Yuval and Arik have been living with my dad and step-mom since their parents and eldest sister passed away while visiting their native Ukraine/Russia last summer. Vitya is now 12 years old, and he is very excited about his bar mitzvah next year, however, while their dad was definitely Jewish, their mother's Jewishness, as defined by Halacha, and as per the chief rabbinate, was debateable. Her extended family, who all moved to Israel in the 90's and since, as many not-so-Jewish former Soviet Union olim, moved on to the USA and Canada, are born again Christians and classic Baptists, and were not too enthusiastic about a proper conversion for the kids. However, now two things are for sure: the kids can stay with my parents, as outlined in the will of their father, and as legal guardians they can go t hrough with the kids' conversion if needed, or, can access records to determine if they are halachially Jewish. It seems the only relative of the kids, who actually cared to visit them since the parents' deaths, an aunt from Tustin, CA is okay with it as well. Wether the kids can be legally adopted by my parents is still an issue--my dad is over 60--but it seems that Vitya will get his bar mitzvah celebration!